My point...

It all started with a bit of a meltdown.

The year 2010 started off a bit hopeful, and then it crashed just around February's time. Crashed as in I couldnt' seem to function properly and parts of my life I had longed ignored, I couldn't seem to ignore at all.

I have good friends and a good family so I reached out to them in some ways...however, all their words numbed the sadness for a bit but didn't cure it.

Without sounding melodramatic (because I do realize there are many more people suffering worse circumstances), I found myself looking for some way to release it all. Here's what I did to cope through it all...I wrote. I journaled.

These entries contained everything... words, lists, scribbles, phrases, poems, paragraphs....stories.

And, after the words were out, I felt the tears had subsided, and I could properly focus on my life for a bit until a new bout of melancholy set in.

It was during this exact time (this mixture of rejection and relief) that I began to feel best when the words were out.

I wrote then because it felt good, because it felt good and because it felt good.

 And, I acknowledged afterwards that I had always wanted to but had never taken the time.

I submitted a piece to a contest (haven't heard a thing just yet). I applied for some freelance work. Found success there and found some more rejection there as well.

In the midst of it all, I wrote a short little story about a little girl who I wished I could be (who maybe I can be someday) and now in about a month it will be published. An idea that both thrills me but scares the heck out of me! (the rejection/failure thing, you know)

I did all of this since the meltdown and now I see it had to be this way. I had to fall way way down low so I could find my way up by myself and be able to see things clearly- no longer with forced ignorant eyes.

I know this one thing for sure----I am not completely myself yet... I am certainly not where I want to be at the moment, but I do love the way I feel when I hit the publish button.

So, this here is the point, the objective of this blog of mine. I have decided to be in search of the right words so that I can become that little girl. This little girl who started it all -the good part of it all ...and who was formed with my words.

Join me as I try, would you?

All my best then...
x

p.s. Here's the place where I have been hitting the publish button that makes me feel so much better each time...


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