Checking in with my first year...

Getting to the point...

About one year ago today, I was made aware that Annabelle's Love was officially published and available for purchase on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I, of course, experienced crazy emotions consisting of inexplicable pride, anxiety and more.

I then embarked on what I thought would be the easy and fun part of this entire process- marketing my book. Boy oh boy... I can now see I had no idea what this actually meant to someone with no experience, no fan base, no nothing....It is A LOT of work!

And, it continues to be a lot of work... It would be ideal if I was able to solely focus on marketing this baby book but reality,  my reality of work, school, family, friends and life in general, won't allow this at all. Still I have tried my best. I can definitely admit that I could have done better, but my heart was always in the right place for my baby book and for me....

SOOOOO, in order for me to not feel like I failed myself, I accepted what I could do with the little time I had left. I set smaller goals, such as marketing or setting up book signings and readings at least once a month. I think I have done okay- not great! but okay!

So, here I am one year later... and my life is about to take another major, major turn in which I am sure I will once again experience inexplicable emotions of pride, anxiety and more! It seems my baby book will be joined by yet another baby... one I can cuddle with and hold. One in fact, that has already inspired an idea for my second book.

Yes!!!! Annabelle will continue on with E... and many of the words I so long to share with you all have already been written on my ceiling every single night.

I guess what I am getting to the point in saying here is that Annabelle is not forgotten- she won't be forgotten...I have big plans for her... They may only consist of once a month experiences but hey.... that is reality- my reality!

So, to those of you who continue to ask, how we are..this is it! Still here and still there... hopefully, for a long time... hopefully, forever.

x

Holding my baby book for the very first time. x

A new kind of tickle in the tummy...

My tickles in the tummy of the past were caused by my Annabelle and her adventures in being shared with many.  These sensations all encompassed some hard-to-breathe moments in my chest, some flaring-red cheeks, some unusual perspiration and, of course, that good ole' familiar tickle in the tummy.

I know all of these tickles are caused by my nerves and by my hopes and wishes to be liked by all. And, I know they are completely normal to experience so I gave up in trying to fight them off and remain I suppose calm and stoic...cause I  mean really.. I look like a tomato. So, I became and am still accustomed to them. They are now part of each and every call I make for Annabelle. They are part of every reading-every discussion- every single little email I send. No biggie. They are now a part of me and this journey I started last year.

Well, wouldn't you know that life has a funny way of making those small tickles turn into large roller coaster loops and dips that can no longer be associated with nerves and that can no longer be considered imaginary???

Yup,

Nowadays, the whole tickle in the tummy has been triumphed by some very real bumps, elbows and kicks? And, and, and .... I have to say these are the very best sensations yet.

This new kind of tickle in my tummy is caused by a new journey I am on. A new one that started this year, 2011. I told you all... 2010 was just the introductory chapter of my 2011 adventure, and I couldn't be happier or more nervous or more red in the face!

 So, I salute you, new tickle, and welcome you with open arms! I am so glad you joined my side each and every day. I only feel now more blessed, more driven, more inspired and more humbled than I have ever felt before. You serve only to further remind me of why I wrote Annabelle's Love, and why I want to share its message with all the little once-tickling boys and girls of the world!

Thank you for the reminder and for what I consider the best giggles in the world.

All my love,
Jenny RH

Working for Annabelle= Great Rewards

So, today was the first day I was free from my typical obligations regarding my Master's which meant many, many things.
It meant I could slowly browse through my emails without feeling guilt
and I could sip my coffee while staring into space...
and stretch for as long as I wanted.
You know, do pretty much anything I desired because because
 I didn't have THAT work looming over my head!

And.... the feeling was and is great!

 Perfect timing I feel because I could actually focus on my 2010 accomplishment...Annabelle's Love.

Yes! Yes! TODAY I caught up on some paperwork and prepared for my visit to the library tonight to share Annabelle and her message. Yes, today I was finally working for Annabelle!

What lovely work it was... I found myself tracing and cutting hearts. I created my own "What I love about ME" heart  (a project the children will also do tonight after my reading)... and,
 in the process reminded myself, what I love about myself! (BIG SMILE here) which ranged from silly small things like these chubby cheeks on my face because my mom has them too and her mom had them before her and now my new nephew has them and well, I can go on....

 But, I also listed some bigger things- like my writing and my love of photography and my heart ...

In short!, while I was working for Annabelle, I was working a bit on me as well. It was quite a simple thing to do.."this listing things I love about myself project"... but also very much rewarding 

So, in the end, I guess what I am saying today to you in this very long-awaited blog is go out and try it. Try listing your personal loves today, tonight, tomorrow but soon!

 You may find that you will walk away smiling and feeling all sorts of accomplished and impressed with yourself... and that is way better than anything... you know, finding out that you are quite talented, and quite lovable, and quite fantastic at times? great feeling.

So, try it.
You will see.
It works.
Trust me
and trust in Annabelle's message:

Your own true love sits right inside your very own self. It has always been there, this true love, and always will be.

x

JRH

Steady, sorry and slow...

Dear friends,

It has been a while... a long, long while but for some of this while, I had little to share or to be honest, desired to share very little.

Lots in my personal life has changed, and I am still hoping that all the change can be for the good of everybody. I am happy most days and moments AND other days and moments, I am simply terrified.

Nevertheless, with each day that passes, I feel more and more blessed. I try to hold on to these blessings and let go of the fears that eat me up and have me remembering all the mistakes I have made in my life and all those I have hurt along the way.
But, as many of you may know... regrets seem easier to hold on to and blessings much harder.

(This is where the steady comes to play...)

In the end, I wish to say I am sorry. I am sorry to all of those I have hurt intentionally or unintentionally.  I wish to say I am sorry to myself for being my own worst enemy at times....most times. I am even sorry to my baby book, Annabelle's Love, for not giving it my 100 percent at all times. I have been there with it but not there and not with it too.... make sense?

I am basically sorry to me and to all others.

(Now, the sorry...)

So my life ... I have been steady ....
my past... I have been sorry
and my baby book... I have been slow.

Nonetheless, I love it no less than the day it came in the mail, and I held it in my hands for the very first time. In fact, I look forward (so forward) to this summer when more time will allow me to be hopefully determined, hopefully forgiven and hopefully fast. :0)


Love,
Steady, sorry and slow
ME

2010 has been..

A good year. But, somehow I knew it would be. I am not sure what told me so, but I certainly knew deep down that 2010 was it....the it year I suppose.

It started off with some peace ...but as peace would have it, it had to go. Some uneasy turmoil came strolling along and literally camped out in my heart...

To all of you reading... well,  this is how and when Annabelle came to be. It seems all the uneasiness and fear had some words to set forth...some inner dialogue dying to be told. And it did... it was told and that whole experience was lovely and incredible-truly incredible. And that whole experience-- the Annabelle coming to homes everywhere is not over. I know this.

But, 2010 didn't end there. I told you it was the year. After Annabelle, came some more...lots more and now here I stand again.
I am happy but scared.
Proud but worried.
Hopeful but doubtful.

And, I wonder how can this be?
Well, it can. And it is. period.

So, with the closing of my year, 2010, comes now 2011... and, to be honest... to be very honest... I am not ready to let go yet of 2010.

Let me just say then, 2010, thank you. Thank you for being such a year. I will not forget you ever...
Love,
Me
Jenny RH
December 31, 2010.
Time: 11:50 PM

A cup of coffee, a sandwich, and my love.

I heard these words the other day, and I thought it was sweet and perfect for this month of December when love and hope and comfort food is in the air.... Images of steaming cups of coffee and warm toasty sandwiches and, of course, some unconditional love gather around the fireplace (my imaginary fireplace cause I don't have one ;)...)...

Do you see these images as well?

It seems I do.

Hence, the reason why I chose to use these words as my title.
 In my search for the right words.......in this forever long-life search of finding the right words... they seemed to fit somehow.

I suppose because it seems appropriate for how I am feeling these early days of December. To tell you the truth, I am mostly feeling all sorts of swamped with work coming from all directions in my life (book, masters, teaching, family, friends, house, ) but ......but somehow despite all the stress...

comfort and love and lots of hope keep me smiling and feeling all sorts of mushy mushy as well.

Yesterday, I attended an open house at a pre-school in hopes of introducing Annabelle's Love to some new children.. and this I did and I gotta say I felt happy.... truly happy in this world. Sometimes, I forget this feeling of ... I wrote and published a book that I hope many little girls will read and love and ask for at night... I wrote a book for little girls that I hope will sit on their nightstands or on their bookshelves...that I hope to sign and dedicate just to them so that they will always have and keep it ...

Sometimes, when the stress and work seem too much, I forget this feeling. Yesterday, it all came back to me, and I am very glad it did.
You see, what I am trying to say in awful awful ways at the moment.. is that yesterday was a great reminder of why I wrote this book. This visit to this school gave me the umpteenth boost to keep going and going. Because the best part of this book is actually sharing it with the children... the most fun really....

So, thank you Jen W. for the invite... thank you to all who supported Annabelle's Love yesterday and thank you, my title, for deeming yourself appropriate for this blog.

The title, yesterday's experience, and my hope are the perfect words for how I am feeling today.

So, on that final note...
here's my cup of coffee, my sandwich, and my love to you all... May they all conjure up some December images for you that are comforting, warm, loving and hopeful as well.
xo
Jenny RH
2010

November Words

Somehow November is now coming to an end...

Somehow this has happened with only one entry ...wait ...! now two entries to represent this month in my life...

So many words have transpired in my mind, in my heart, out of my mouth and onto others... Most words I can't recall, but many words have managed to be imprinted in my memory.

I guess all I can say is November makes me feel like reflecting ....for obvious reasons, of course. The days are shorter ...the leaves have fallen, the air is biting and crisp and ......well, November seems like the beginning of a long, lonely winter.... Yet....

November in America is meant to do just the opposite... For one, it clearly makes many of us take a day to remember the Veterans....remember them ..appreciate them ...admire them for their sacrifices.

November also asks us to take a day to remember all those we are thankful for...all things we are blessed with...all days we keep living.....another Monday at work.... two functioning legs ... a reliable car... a nosey but loving mother... the turkey on the table and the family you can't truly live without...not really.

For me, I am no different. Yes, November feels lonely at first but it ends with a room filled with many... And, for this I am grateful. And, as for Annabelle... well, she is grateful as well ... So many have had positive words to say about her message. So many have welcomed her and me with open, open WIDE open arms.

All of this makes me see... makes me understand... makes my November words close with ....
I may feel lonely during some of these days.... but I am not alone... BIG difference...big big difference.

So.... thank you all who fill my November days with unconditional love, amazing support, some funny jokes, lots and lots of words, tight hugs, warm kisses, beating hearts, sweet sweet smiles, huge teeth-baring grins, sincere memories and more... You rock my November world....you do.

All my love then,
Jenny RH
Nov. 2010

Here is my room filled with many xxx