Over Dinner

My last post had everything to do with AGE...my age.

I mentioned before how I have been questioning how time can possibly seem to fly by so very quickly when I still feel like I am in my prime ready to conquer the world.
Seriously, I feel this way.

Something about my age and my innate desire to still conquer the realm of creative goals I would like to achieve triggered this thought...better yet- this fear.

So... I proposed this question over dinner (a lovely and lively dinner actually) to a table consisting of my husband, my close friend and her boyfriend of many years who, of course, now I consider my friend as well. I chose to propose this question to them knowing that all three would be (even to the my disappointment) succinctly honest.

After a pause and appropriate toast to my first photography sales event, to my friend's soon-to-be-open (new) Hoboken restaurant, and to my dear friend's birthday, I asked the question.

"Is it too late for me to be attempting this new venture at my age? You know, for me to sincerely wish to sell these photographs, these books and hope for true success?"
I held my breath. I remember looking at each in the face (seemed like forever) carefully observing facial expressions when to my relief one answered.

What was the answer??????

"No, Jenny. It is not too late. I opened my (dream) business at the same age..." and from here I cannot exactly quote cause I was sincerely too happy processing the NO,
but I can fill in the blanks here.

The person who responded was the same person who found success in opening his dream business and now is working on his second project-the new Hoboken restaurant.

Needless to say, his honest answer was the one I needed to hear. I sorta knew this, but you know how fear is... it always seem to be trying to take over.

And that was my "Over Dinner" climactic moment.
Nothing has changed- my plan is to continue with my baby Annabelle and, in the process, share my photography in various forms... many various forms...even in a book form actually. Yes, book form.

Happy Me then-
Jenny
x

Twenty-Nineteen going on plain & grateful Forty

I am going to make this one short and sweet. So short that it could have been a status update.

See, all I want to share is a sweet epiphany (definition exactly as..."a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.")

I had this "intuitive perception" yesterday morning, the day of my dear best friend's birthday. Yesterday, she turned 39 or as I like to call it "twenty-nineteen". We have been as of late wondering how we have suddenly become so close to 40 and how we are getting so old, yada yada yada... Hence, the desire to call it twenty-nineteen and NOT 39.

Well, as I am sending her the early morning birthday text and reminiscing about our late  conversations, an unexpected emotion or thought fill my mind and heart.

All of a sudden I felt sheer joy with the simple fact that I have lived so long... 38 years going on 39. All of a sudden I felt sheer and sincere gratitude for being blessed to have lived already so long on this earth.

It dawned on me just how lucky I am to be so old...and I realized I have been a fool complaining about getting older and such.

It was as simple as this. I am 38 going on 39 this year and next year I will be going from Twenty-Nineteen to Forty...and in this lifetime I have already experienced so much...laughter, pain, happiness, regret, pride, pure love, awe, gratitude and more.

Lucky, lucky me to have realized this so suddenly, so sincerely and so unforgettably.  Sweet epiphany it was. One sudden "intuitive perception" I will always keep close. Thank you, dear sweet ones, for opening my eyes, heart and soul.

Signed-
One very plain and grateful older person ;)
Jenny

Inside my Heart

Don't you wish sometimes people could see inside your heart? Your mind say....?
I do. I do wish some people could see deep inside. They would know so much more.

They would know
how deeply sorry I am
how my intentions are sincere
how much regret I carry
how hard I am on myself
how much I fear being punished in the worst way
how I work very hard to be the person I should have been and want to be every single day
how I wish I could turn back time
how I wish I could have been that little girl who grew up with amazing role models
how I wish I could have known back then what I know now
how much sincere joy, happiness and health I wish many, especially those I have hurt and disappointed
how foolish I was and how I recognize this every single second
how my words actually mean what they say
how sometimes I wish I could let go of the memories and regrets but can't and probably never will
how I am a good person... I am.
how those who know me now may say...  I have a good heart.
how I am a person worth forgiving now
how deeply sorry I am
how deeply sorry I am
how deeply sorry I am.

I am not that person any more. I have never been that person. I was just a person who knew the difference between right and wrong and unfortunately and pathetically chose the wrong again and again.

I wish with my whole heart that sometimes people could see deep inside of me... then they would know.

jr
2013

Lucky 2013

One thing some may not know about me is that I tend to favor odd years. 2011 was a good one 2012 ..eh.
Odd to favor odd years, I know.

Somehow this does not even make sense to me since Annabelle's Love was published in 2010, and I rekindled with someone vital in 2010, but, nonetheless, I was eager to greet 2013 and felt no sadness for the loss of 2012.

Seemed appropriate then to start off my Lucky 2013 year with some realistic plans or goals  I can actually keep therefore I decided to update the world (and by world I mean the few who read these blogs;) with what I have been up to these days.

I have been lucky to have recently participated in some special events in which I was able to share Annabelle's Love with the public. These last few events have simply put ....inspired me. Inspired me to keep at this. I love this. I love writing. I love taking pictures. I love creating cards with my pictures. In the end, I love anything that has to do with a form of self-expression. And being around people who create and add and color and think outside of the box really motivate me to keep going.

I fearfully (fearful of rejection that is....it is difficult to put out to the public these things you so love) created a Fiverr.com account to sell my personalized cards last year (even year 2012) and felt an immense pleasure in selling my first card.

Today, after much inspiration and careful guidance, I created an Etsy and Pinterest account to share more of these pictures and cards and really get it all going a bit more.

I am about to contact an illustrator who I recently met at one of these events in the hopes that he will help me continue Annabelle's story cause there is more to tell. I hope I can come across clearly, and I hope he can agree to do this. I hope. I hope in 2013.

And, as for my little Annabelle's Love, well she is doing just fine... Sales in November even year 2012 were slightly lower than sales in November odd year 2011, but sales are still taking place and everyone I meet along my Annabelle way still loves its message.

And what do you know.. February happens to host the day of love on the 14th, and it so happens Annabelle's Love is a love story so I will be promoting it a lot for all to remember where true love must start and always exist.

So you see here is my Lucky 2013... and here is one my favorite cards and here are my new links to visit, to like, to pin, to  shop from, to browse or to ignore.  Here it all is in this first blog of my Lucky 2013 odd year.

Jenny

http://www.etsy.com/shop/JustJennysLove

http://fiverr.com/jennyetc

http://pinterest.com/justjennyslove/

Originally Just July...Then We Added August

The title says it all... Originally we were coming down here to Florida to spend the month of July... as "planning" would have it, we decided to add August.

Nothing bad about this at all except that today is our last Florida morning. Later today we head back up north.

And so I wonder am I ready for that?

Because because....
 so much has been accomplished this summer down in sweet Florida... I have started writing again... my freelance writing. And I have started blogging again...right here on this site. I have started brainstorming and exploring some ideas. I have started taking those creative pictures again AND most importantly I have started sharing Annabelle again.

So am I ready?
I think so. I do have a plan. The writing and photography and book events have honestly been beyond rewarding. I do not want to lose this feeling. I do not want to not have the time to focus on it again. I do not want to push it aside.

I don't think I will. I do have a plan.
It involves writing and marketing at some crazy hours but it involves it for sure.  I believe it is worth it... worth the small sacrifice of less sleep because there are so many few things in life that are so rewarding and free.  So many few things.

What I think-----
that our Originally Just July will just have to be extended to September, October, November... and on.

So, sweet Florida, I thank you for your kind people, welcoming listeners, amazing landscapes, new experiences and immense inspiration. Thank you.

I am ready.

Love,
Me
JR
x

This is true. Sweet Life.

On the Side

First and foremost, I am what I still consider a new MOM.
Then, I am a wife

a sister
daughter
friend
aunt
cousin
sister-in-law
daughter-in-law
book club member
citizen
ummm
I'm sure more

Of course, my FULL time job come September is
teacher

BUT, on the side now and come September

I enjoy
so much more...
like being a
writer
a blogger
an Examiner
an amateur but somewhat talented photographer ;)

and these "On the Side" roles pop up every now and then on the world-wide web.

So this here blog is to link it all in one... to promote my "On the Side" and hope that some of you will open up some articles and hit the Subscribe button or comment or even purchase because even my "On the Side" has led me there with my little first book, "Annabelle's Love", and with my new full-of -love adventure of creating personalized greeting cards.

So to make it easier for you and even me, I will list all the places you can find a piece of my "On the Side" ...just one click and you are there!

I will even organize it for us! ;)

Places where you can purchase Annabelle's Love...

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/AnnabellesLove.html

http://www.amazon.com/Annabelles-Love-Jenny-Ramirez-Hart/dp/160976515X

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/annabelles-love-jenny-ramirez-hart/1027195962

http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Annabelles-Love/Jenny-Ramirez-Hart/9781609765156?id=5450648710356

and many more sites... all you have to do is GOOGLE Jenny Ramirez Hart


A little video of me in Germany...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9b-I2Itll0

Places where you can read my articles on Examiner...

http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-newark/jenny-ramirez-hart

http://www.examiner.com/life-photos-in-newark/jenny-ramirez-hart

And my latest endeavor that I think I will reap great joy from is now this... the personalized cards project you can purchase on fiverr.com

http://fiverr.com/jennyetc

It seems I want to tackle it all and make it all possible... I mean who knows! Maybe... just maybe! My "On the Side" can be my "On the Center"? ;)

Nothing wrong with trying that's for sure... !

So thank you for taking the time to skim through this blog... and maybe even clicking on one or two sites. Any questions or comments? Just email them to me at jennyrh2010@yahoo.com

Thank you much!
Signed
x
Happy
Me

Sample cards x :)

Righting the Wrong

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if I can ever right what I have done wrong.
 Last night was one of those nights.

I sat with eyes wide open in the dark and wondered about the friends I once had who I hurt and disappointed. I wonder how they are and what if? I get angry, I get sad, I get self-righteous but mostly I get so regretful.

You see, the sad thing about life is you can never ever go back and change the actions you have made, the words you have said, the decisions, the looks, the everything. None of it. Can't change a thing.

So how does one move on? How can I move on?

I try. And I try. But I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and wonder...

I am the one I cannot escape. I am the one who can never right the wrong it seems. I am the one who will judge myself the most and the hardest. Why?

Because deep down inside,  I knew what I should have done. I knew what I should not have done. I have always known the difference between right and wrong and yet... I did nothing about it. I continued on my merry way... ignoring my gut and running - just running far far away from me. Mirrors... forget about it... they were hard to look at.... very hard.

It has been a long time since I felt out of my skin but time has not yet allowed me to move on or forget.

So the question remains... is it possible to right the wrong? I suppose in some ways it is... I picture scenes of forgiveness and I know now my heart is in the right place, doing the right things, sending the best love to all those who I have disappointed. It is not always easy but it is worthwhile. Best part of it all is I am  able to look directly at the mirror and like who I see, respect who I see, admire who I see.  I am standing still and no longer running. I feel good in my skin even.

BUT...
I am sure there will be many more nights of me waking up in this fashion because clearly I can't seem to easily forgive myself... especially now---- I am surrounded by the most amazing family members and friends, by the most amazing blessings...this book, these opportunities and more. So sometimes I don't feel worthy of it all... which is why I will forever be trying to Right the Wrong.

Today signed-
regretful but trying,
me
Jenny R.
xxx

The Summer of New

This is certainly the Summer of New. New location, new air to breathe, new experiences to share, new people to know...new promises.

I have spent my days decompressing, adjusting and relishing in the nothing and yet the everything. It has been quite lovely...quite new.

All of this new "ness" has fostered such a sweet and sincere sense of happiness and content in my heart, and I feel the like the luckiest gal on earth.

I have wondered in the midst of all this bliss...will there be something to write about? Something to say? Or will I sound all mushy and ....mushy?

And my answer is... well, it's ...What's wrong with mushy? Of course, I will be able to write. In fact, I have two book ideas in mind...One has been started and the other will be formed into words very soon. I have these two ideas and at least one solid plan;)

What can be better than this?

N o t  a  s i n g l e  t h i n g.

That's why it is the summer of new. Summer of new faces, new experiences, new words, new ideas, new plans and new promises.

Love,
Me
Jenny R.

Sweet Summer Bliss. x

Revising "About Me"

April Break came and went and Annabelle sat still, ignored in my closet at the bottom of the pile.

My life got in the way.
Got in the way again.

Had some troubled dreams this week. Had some for lack of a-less-of-a-cliche-word..."inspirational" dreams. But when I wake up, I am troubled all over again. moreso.

Why? because I have been planning these big actions and setting aside a large number of articles in a folder called Marketing to read, analyze and apply to my book.( have been filing these away when my personal life became different...The "About Me" began its change.) AND NOTHING has been done. Not a thing.

Does this happen to many authors... writers? Am I truly a writer? Why can't I find the time to do more for Annabelle? How should I or could I? manage my time more wisely to fit it all in? Because my heart is breaking- breaking for my love of writing ...my love for my first baby, Annabelle.

Which brings me back to waking up even more troubled... I decided to take out one article from the folder and read it while I took care of another to-do " getting back in shape" and it started from here...read it, reviewed my Annabelle weekly page update...needless to say it looked depressing and decided I needed to rant and rave or in this case whine.... Things only got worse when I saw my "Occupation" title line and saw "Writer/Educator/Photographer".

It should say many other things I feel... Writer? Maybe not now. The "About Me" doesn't even resemble me much anymore. That too will need to be revised. ASAP.

So does this rant and whine make me feel better? any better?

guess I will see. but for now I remain waiting to be revised.

Having everything.

When I look back at old journal entries, blogs, writing pieces, pictures or other, I am often reminded of how my life felt incomplete...how I felt incomplete. Incomplete...not having everything.

I remember distinctly filling that void with other. Regrettably, some of the other I cannot change now. Some of that other I cannot forget or forgive still it seems.

Somehow, somehow, somehow...

despite the void and the wrong decisions, I took on a dream and made it come true.

"Annabelle's Love" was this dream.

Now...
My life feels complete, I feel complete...I have everything. My idea of everything...

And guess what?

The empty has been filled by love I could have never imagined
and the dream has been fulfilled by me...and still I feel that even with having everything, I can still have more...so much more.
Because although I cannot change my past decisions and actions, I know I can change my future...make other dreams come true...many other dreams.

And this time my future actions and dreams won't be accomplished to fill a void. But accomplished to only add more happiness and pride to my idea of having everything... love, E. and health.

I'm ready and set...truly happy at last!

In 10 Minute Intervals...

Hey, everybody!

It has been three weeks today to be exact. Three weeks since this amazing, tiring, fulfilling and scary new chapter in my life started. And, it has been exactly that...amazing, tiring, fulfilling, scary and more more...!

My life now can be measured by 10 minute intervals...for those experienced in this area, you know the how and the why it is measured in matters of 10.

I have 10 minutes to do the left and then the right and to squeeze in a shower and to check emails, pay bills, have a conversation, look in the mirror, admire E, admire E, admire E.

I wouldn't change this new life for a second..not one second. I just am in awe at how I often I wonder and ponder on this single thought... "how I am going to do it all now?" 

For example, I am excited to announce that Annabelle and I have been invited to attend " A Night with Local Authors" at a cute little book store in Larchmount, New York called The Voracious Reader on Friday, December 9th (see link below) and all I wonder about is ..." Well, can I bring E? How will I manage with E?" ...basically, "How does this all work now with E?"

And this is how it is now. I am a new me with a my new E. But, I still have so much of the old me focused on Annabelle and her message and all the goals I have for Annabelle... none that have been forgotten but perhaps delayed a bit. You see what I mean? How do I do all of this now?

I guess in the end, I will figure THIS all out... although I fear that some people or things may be set aside in order for me to do it all. (sad face here)

My goal then is to combine the new me with my new E and, of course, the old me without losing too many friends or other and that should be brilliant... but we will see. We will see.

Guess what? My 10 minutes are up now... so I am off to enjoy the newness of E and me.  Like I said... wouldn't change it for the world.

Cheers then.
x
Much Love,

JR

http://thevoraciousreader.com/index.htm

p.s. I will be sure to have more details about NY visit soon.

Checking in with my first year...

Getting to the point...

About one year ago today, I was made aware that Annabelle's Love was officially published and available for purchase on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I, of course, experienced crazy emotions consisting of inexplicable pride, anxiety and more.

I then embarked on what I thought would be the easy and fun part of this entire process- marketing my book. Boy oh boy... I can now see I had no idea what this actually meant to someone with no experience, no fan base, no nothing....It is A LOT of work!

And, it continues to be a lot of work... It would be ideal if I was able to solely focus on marketing this baby book but reality,  my reality of work, school, family, friends and life in general, won't allow this at all. Still I have tried my best. I can definitely admit that I could have done better, but my heart was always in the right place for my baby book and for me....

SOOOOO, in order for me to not feel like I failed myself, I accepted what I could do with the little time I had left. I set smaller goals, such as marketing or setting up book signings and readings at least once a month. I think I have done okay- not great! but okay!

So, here I am one year later... and my life is about to take another major, major turn in which I am sure I will once again experience inexplicable emotions of pride, anxiety and more! It seems my baby book will be joined by yet another baby... one I can cuddle with and hold. One in fact, that has already inspired an idea for my second book.

Yes!!!! Annabelle will continue on with E... and many of the words I so long to share with you all have already been written on my ceiling every single night.

I guess what I am getting to the point in saying here is that Annabelle is not forgotten- she won't be forgotten...I have big plans for her... They may only consist of once a month experiences but hey.... that is reality- my reality!

So, to those of you who continue to ask, how we are..this is it! Still here and still there... hopefully, for a long time... hopefully, forever.

x

Holding my baby book for the very first time. x

A new kind of tickle in the tummy...

My tickles in the tummy of the past were caused by my Annabelle and her adventures in being shared with many.  These sensations all encompassed some hard-to-breathe moments in my chest, some flaring-red cheeks, some unusual perspiration and, of course, that good ole' familiar tickle in the tummy.

I know all of these tickles are caused by my nerves and by my hopes and wishes to be liked by all. And, I know they are completely normal to experience so I gave up in trying to fight them off and remain I suppose calm and stoic...cause I  mean really.. I look like a tomato. So, I became and am still accustomed to them. They are now part of each and every call I make for Annabelle. They are part of every reading-every discussion- every single little email I send. No biggie. They are now a part of me and this journey I started last year.

Well, wouldn't you know that life has a funny way of making those small tickles turn into large roller coaster loops and dips that can no longer be associated with nerves and that can no longer be considered imaginary???

Yup,

Nowadays, the whole tickle in the tummy has been triumphed by some very real bumps, elbows and kicks? And, and, and .... I have to say these are the very best sensations yet.

This new kind of tickle in my tummy is caused by a new journey I am on. A new one that started this year, 2011. I told you all... 2010 was just the introductory chapter of my 2011 adventure, and I couldn't be happier or more nervous or more red in the face!

 So, I salute you, new tickle, and welcome you with open arms! I am so glad you joined my side each and every day. I only feel now more blessed, more driven, more inspired and more humbled than I have ever felt before. You serve only to further remind me of why I wrote Annabelle's Love, and why I want to share its message with all the little once-tickling boys and girls of the world!

Thank you for the reminder and for what I consider the best giggles in the world.

All my love,
Jenny RH

Working for Annabelle= Great Rewards

So, today was the first day I was free from my typical obligations regarding my Master's which meant many, many things.
It meant I could slowly browse through my emails without feeling guilt
and I could sip my coffee while staring into space...
and stretch for as long as I wanted.
You know, do pretty much anything I desired because because
 I didn't have THAT work looming over my head!

And.... the feeling was and is great!

 Perfect timing I feel because I could actually focus on my 2010 accomplishment...Annabelle's Love.

Yes! Yes! TODAY I caught up on some paperwork and prepared for my visit to the library tonight to share Annabelle and her message. Yes, today I was finally working for Annabelle!

What lovely work it was... I found myself tracing and cutting hearts. I created my own "What I love about ME" heart  (a project the children will also do tonight after my reading)... and,
 in the process reminded myself, what I love about myself! (BIG SMILE here) which ranged from silly small things like these chubby cheeks on my face because my mom has them too and her mom had them before her and now my new nephew has them and well, I can go on....

 But, I also listed some bigger things- like my writing and my love of photography and my heart ...

In short!, while I was working for Annabelle, I was working a bit on me as well. It was quite a simple thing to do.."this listing things I love about myself project"... but also very much rewarding 

So, in the end, I guess what I am saying today to you in this very long-awaited blog is go out and try it. Try listing your personal loves today, tonight, tomorrow but soon!

 You may find that you will walk away smiling and feeling all sorts of accomplished and impressed with yourself... and that is way better than anything... you know, finding out that you are quite talented, and quite lovable, and quite fantastic at times? great feeling.

So, try it.
You will see.
It works.
Trust me
and trust in Annabelle's message:

Your own true love sits right inside your very own self. It has always been there, this true love, and always will be.

x

JRH

Steady, sorry and slow...

Dear friends,

It has been a while... a long, long while but for some of this while, I had little to share or to be honest, desired to share very little.

Lots in my personal life has changed, and I am still hoping that all the change can be for the good of everybody. I am happy most days and moments AND other days and moments, I am simply terrified.

Nevertheless, with each day that passes, I feel more and more blessed. I try to hold on to these blessings and let go of the fears that eat me up and have me remembering all the mistakes I have made in my life and all those I have hurt along the way.
But, as many of you may know... regrets seem easier to hold on to and blessings much harder.

(This is where the steady comes to play...)

In the end, I wish to say I am sorry. I am sorry to all of those I have hurt intentionally or unintentionally.  I wish to say I am sorry to myself for being my own worst enemy at times....most times. I am even sorry to my baby book, Annabelle's Love, for not giving it my 100 percent at all times. I have been there with it but not there and not with it too.... make sense?

I am basically sorry to me and to all others.

(Now, the sorry...)

So my life ... I have been steady ....
my past... I have been sorry
and my baby book... I have been slow.

Nonetheless, I love it no less than the day it came in the mail, and I held it in my hands for the very first time. In fact, I look forward (so forward) to this summer when more time will allow me to be hopefully determined, hopefully forgiven and hopefully fast. :0)


Love,
Steady, sorry and slow
ME

2010 has been..

A good year. But, somehow I knew it would be. I am not sure what told me so, but I certainly knew deep down that 2010 was it....the it year I suppose.

It started off with some peace ...but as peace would have it, it had to go. Some uneasy turmoil came strolling along and literally camped out in my heart...

To all of you reading... well,  this is how and when Annabelle came to be. It seems all the uneasiness and fear had some words to set forth...some inner dialogue dying to be told. And it did... it was told and that whole experience was lovely and incredible-truly incredible. And that whole experience-- the Annabelle coming to homes everywhere is not over. I know this.

But, 2010 didn't end there. I told you it was the year. After Annabelle, came some more...lots more and now here I stand again.
I am happy but scared.
Proud but worried.
Hopeful but doubtful.

And, I wonder how can this be?
Well, it can. And it is. period.

So, with the closing of my year, 2010, comes now 2011... and, to be honest... to be very honest... I am not ready to let go yet of 2010.

Let me just say then, 2010, thank you. Thank you for being such a year. I will not forget you ever...
Love,
Me
Jenny RH
December 31, 2010.
Time: 11:50 PM

A cup of coffee, a sandwich, and my love.

I heard these words the other day, and I thought it was sweet and perfect for this month of December when love and hope and comfort food is in the air.... Images of steaming cups of coffee and warm toasty sandwiches and, of course, some unconditional love gather around the fireplace (my imaginary fireplace cause I don't have one ;)...)...

Do you see these images as well?

It seems I do.

Hence, the reason why I chose to use these words as my title.
 In my search for the right words.......in this forever long-life search of finding the right words... they seemed to fit somehow.

I suppose because it seems appropriate for how I am feeling these early days of December. To tell you the truth, I am mostly feeling all sorts of swamped with work coming from all directions in my life (book, masters, teaching, family, friends, house, ) but ......but somehow despite all the stress...

comfort and love and lots of hope keep me smiling and feeling all sorts of mushy mushy as well.

Yesterday, I attended an open house at a pre-school in hopes of introducing Annabelle's Love to some new children.. and this I did and I gotta say I felt happy.... truly happy in this world. Sometimes, I forget this feeling of ... I wrote and published a book that I hope many little girls will read and love and ask for at night... I wrote a book for little girls that I hope will sit on their nightstands or on their bookshelves...that I hope to sign and dedicate just to them so that they will always have and keep it ...

Sometimes, when the stress and work seem too much, I forget this feeling. Yesterday, it all came back to me, and I am very glad it did.
You see, what I am trying to say in awful awful ways at the moment.. is that yesterday was a great reminder of why I wrote this book. This visit to this school gave me the umpteenth boost to keep going and going. Because the best part of this book is actually sharing it with the children... the most fun really....

So, thank you Jen W. for the invite... thank you to all who supported Annabelle's Love yesterday and thank you, my title, for deeming yourself appropriate for this blog.

The title, yesterday's experience, and my hope are the perfect words for how I am feeling today.

So, on that final note...
here's my cup of coffee, my sandwich, and my love to you all... May they all conjure up some December images for you that are comforting, warm, loving and hopeful as well.
xo
Jenny RH
2010

November Words

Somehow November is now coming to an end...

Somehow this has happened with only one entry ...wait ...! now two entries to represent this month in my life...

So many words have transpired in my mind, in my heart, out of my mouth and onto others... Most words I can't recall, but many words have managed to be imprinted in my memory.

I guess all I can say is November makes me feel like reflecting ....for obvious reasons, of course. The days are shorter ...the leaves have fallen, the air is biting and crisp and ......well, November seems like the beginning of a long, lonely winter.... Yet....

November in America is meant to do just the opposite... For one, it clearly makes many of us take a day to remember the Veterans....remember them ..appreciate them ...admire them for their sacrifices.

November also asks us to take a day to remember all those we are thankful for...all things we are blessed with...all days we keep living.....another Monday at work.... two functioning legs ... a reliable car... a nosey but loving mother... the turkey on the table and the family you can't truly live without...not really.

For me, I am no different. Yes, November feels lonely at first but it ends with a room filled with many... And, for this I am grateful. And, as for Annabelle... well, she is grateful as well ... So many have had positive words to say about her message. So many have welcomed her and me with open, open WIDE open arms.

All of this makes me see... makes me understand... makes my November words close with ....
I may feel lonely during some of these days.... but I am not alone... BIG difference...big big difference.

So.... thank you all who fill my November days with unconditional love, amazing support, some funny jokes, lots and lots of words, tight hugs, warm kisses, beating hearts, sweet sweet smiles, huge teeth-baring grins, sincere memories and more... You rock my November world....you do.

All my love then,
Jenny RH
Nov. 2010

Here is my room filled with many xxx

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

It is November now, and I honestly am not sure how this happened. These days all I can seem to do is look at each day as yesterday, today and tomorrow. Dates don't seem to apply at all to these days....

I am a perfect example it seems of someone who is taking everything day by day ...maybe even second by second... Is this a bad thing? I am not sure really. It just is.

This is the way it has to be for me for a while... My yoga friends might say.. well, at least you are PRESENT. And, I might have to say yes,,, at least this.

Nevertheless, in these yesterdays, and todays and tomorrows, lots of great things are happening and lots of painful scary things are happening as well because as we all know, life continues on no matter what...no matter if you wish for it to stop and wait for you.  It just won't.

A quick glance at the people around you or even at the facebook newsfeed can show you this ....some people are thrilled about this or that while others are mourning a loss of some sort (RIP John)....

I suppose all I wish to say here today in this blog is whatever your days may be...whether you attach a date or not to them or are struggling to keep up with them, always cherish each moment and appreciate them. Life is a gift not a given.

Keep on trekking but keep on living... Find your happiness and don't let it go.

As for me, I am trying to do just this.... Each day this book brings me small joys and  big challenges.
This book and my search for happiness is what I strive for these days.....

All my love then... stay happy, stay focused, stay driven and always cherish.
Jenny

random pic to look at ... even this way... just tilt your head and be present ;) xxxx

Two full-time jobs and a view from my chair.

From my chair today I watched as leaf after leaf, after colorful leaf fell to the ground... I heard cars whiz on by on the way to who knows where... It has been a beautiful Fall day.

Lucky me who gets to enjoy it.
From my chair.

Why? Well, now I have come to the realization that I have two full-time jobs, and both require my full attention at all times. Hence, the title "full-time"...
What this has come to mean suddenly is...

that this Fall I get to gather information about marketing this book instead of apples.
This Fall I get to go people picking on who can sell my book instead of pumpkin picking.
This Fall I get to carve into my work of grading and "amazoning" instead of said pumpkins.
This Fall I get to hike over to the library or book store in search of a book signing instead of through the woods in search of fresh air.
This Fall I get to enjoy warm apple ciders only from memory because every second counts next to this computer screen and not even one can be lost once I am immersed in this work.
This Fall the only mask I will wear is one of face-cleansing because stress has turned my face into a battlefield of sorts.
This Fall... I can go on, but I won't.

 I'm not truly complaining..not truly... okay, maybe just a little but that's only because I do miss the freedom that comes with having nothing to do but enjoy apples, and cider, and books, and naps, and pumpkin picking and my family....

So, instead of complaining then, I shall instead focus on how lucky I am that today I accomplished so much and will accomplish more... all as I watched leaf after colorful leaf fall slowly to the ground. At least this much I can do to enjoy me some Fall.

All my love,
Jenny
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