Over Dinner

My last post had everything to do with AGE...my age.

I mentioned before how I have been questioning how time can possibly seem to fly by so very quickly when I still feel like I am in my prime ready to conquer the world.
Seriously, I feel this way.

Something about my age and my innate desire to still conquer the realm of creative goals I would like to achieve triggered this thought...better yet- this fear.

So... I proposed this question over dinner (a lovely and lively dinner actually) to a table consisting of my husband, my close friend and her boyfriend of many years who, of course, now I consider my friend as well. I chose to propose this question to them knowing that all three would be (even to the my disappointment) succinctly honest.

After a pause and appropriate toast to my first photography sales event, to my friend's soon-to-be-open (new) Hoboken restaurant, and to my dear friend's birthday, I asked the question.

"Is it too late for me to be attempting this new venture at my age? You know, for me to sincerely wish to sell these photographs, these books and hope for true success?"
I held my breath. I remember looking at each in the face (seemed like forever) carefully observing facial expressions when to my relief one answered.

What was the answer??????

"No, Jenny. It is not too late. I opened my (dream) business at the same age..." and from here I cannot exactly quote cause I was sincerely too happy processing the NO,
but I can fill in the blanks here.

The person who responded was the same person who found success in opening his dream business and now is working on his second project-the new Hoboken restaurant.

Needless to say, his honest answer was the one I needed to hear. I sorta knew this, but you know how fear is... it always seem to be trying to take over.

And that was my "Over Dinner" climactic moment.
Nothing has changed- my plan is to continue with my baby Annabelle and, in the process, share my photography in various forms... many various forms...even in a book form actually. Yes, book form.

Happy Me then-
Jenny
x

Twenty-Nineteen going on plain & grateful Forty

I am going to make this one short and sweet. So short that it could have been a status update.

See, all I want to share is a sweet epiphany (definition exactly as..."a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.")

I had this "intuitive perception" yesterday morning, the day of my dear best friend's birthday. Yesterday, she turned 39 or as I like to call it "twenty-nineteen". We have been as of late wondering how we have suddenly become so close to 40 and how we are getting so old, yada yada yada... Hence, the desire to call it twenty-nineteen and NOT 39.

Well, as I am sending her the early morning birthday text and reminiscing about our late  conversations, an unexpected emotion or thought fill my mind and heart.

All of a sudden I felt sheer joy with the simple fact that I have lived so long... 38 years going on 39. All of a sudden I felt sheer and sincere gratitude for being blessed to have lived already so long on this earth.

It dawned on me just how lucky I am to be so old...and I realized I have been a fool complaining about getting older and such.

It was as simple as this. I am 38 going on 39 this year and next year I will be going from Twenty-Nineteen to Forty...and in this lifetime I have already experienced so much...laughter, pain, happiness, regret, pride, pure love, awe, gratitude and more.

Lucky, lucky me to have realized this so suddenly, so sincerely and so unforgettably.  Sweet epiphany it was. One sudden "intuitive perception" I will always keep close. Thank you, dear sweet ones, for opening my eyes, heart and soul.

Signed-
One very plain and grateful older person ;)
Jenny

Inside my Heart

Don't you wish sometimes people could see inside your heart? Your mind say....?
I do. I do wish some people could see deep inside. They would know so much more.

They would know
how deeply sorry I am
how my intentions are sincere
how much regret I carry
how hard I am on myself
how much I fear being punished in the worst way
how I work very hard to be the person I should have been and want to be every single day
how I wish I could turn back time
how I wish I could have been that little girl who grew up with amazing role models
how I wish I could have known back then what I know now
how much sincere joy, happiness and health I wish many, especially those I have hurt and disappointed
how foolish I was and how I recognize this every single second
how my words actually mean what they say
how sometimes I wish I could let go of the memories and regrets but can't and probably never will
how I am a good person... I am.
how those who know me now may say...  I have a good heart.
how I am a person worth forgiving now
how deeply sorry I am
how deeply sorry I am
how deeply sorry I am.

I am not that person any more. I have never been that person. I was just a person who knew the difference between right and wrong and unfortunately and pathetically chose the wrong again and again.

I wish with my whole heart that sometimes people could see deep inside of me... then they would know.

jr
2013

Lucky 2013

One thing some may not know about me is that I tend to favor odd years. 2011 was a good one 2012 ..eh.
Odd to favor odd years, I know.

Somehow this does not even make sense to me since Annabelle's Love was published in 2010, and I rekindled with someone vital in 2010, but, nonetheless, I was eager to greet 2013 and felt no sadness for the loss of 2012.

Seemed appropriate then to start off my Lucky 2013 year with some realistic plans or goals  I can actually keep therefore I decided to update the world (and by world I mean the few who read these blogs;) with what I have been up to these days.

I have been lucky to have recently participated in some special events in which I was able to share Annabelle's Love with the public. These last few events have simply put ....inspired me. Inspired me to keep at this. I love this. I love writing. I love taking pictures. I love creating cards with my pictures. In the end, I love anything that has to do with a form of self-expression. And being around people who create and add and color and think outside of the box really motivate me to keep going.

I fearfully (fearful of rejection that is....it is difficult to put out to the public these things you so love) created a Fiverr.com account to sell my personalized cards last year (even year 2012) and felt an immense pleasure in selling my first card.

Today, after much inspiration and careful guidance, I created an Etsy and Pinterest account to share more of these pictures and cards and really get it all going a bit more.

I am about to contact an illustrator who I recently met at one of these events in the hopes that he will help me continue Annabelle's story cause there is more to tell. I hope I can come across clearly, and I hope he can agree to do this. I hope. I hope in 2013.

And, as for my little Annabelle's Love, well she is doing just fine... Sales in November even year 2012 were slightly lower than sales in November odd year 2011, but sales are still taking place and everyone I meet along my Annabelle way still loves its message.

And what do you know.. February happens to host the day of love on the 14th, and it so happens Annabelle's Love is a love story so I will be promoting it a lot for all to remember where true love must start and always exist.

So you see here is my Lucky 2013... and here is one my favorite cards and here are my new links to visit, to like, to pin, to  shop from, to browse or to ignore.  Here it all is in this first blog of my Lucky 2013 odd year.

Jenny

http://www.etsy.com/shop/JustJennysLove

http://fiverr.com/jennyetc

http://pinterest.com/justjennyslove/

Originally Just July...Then We Added August

The title says it all... Originally we were coming down here to Florida to spend the month of July... as "planning" would have it, we decided to add August.

Nothing bad about this at all except that today is our last Florida morning. Later today we head back up north.

And so I wonder am I ready for that?

Because because....
 so much has been accomplished this summer down in sweet Florida... I have started writing again... my freelance writing. And I have started blogging again...right here on this site. I have started brainstorming and exploring some ideas. I have started taking those creative pictures again AND most importantly I have started sharing Annabelle again.

So am I ready?
I think so. I do have a plan. The writing and photography and book events have honestly been beyond rewarding. I do not want to lose this feeling. I do not want to not have the time to focus on it again. I do not want to push it aside.

I don't think I will. I do have a plan.
It involves writing and marketing at some crazy hours but it involves it for sure.  I believe it is worth it... worth the small sacrifice of less sleep because there are so many few things in life that are so rewarding and free.  So many few things.

What I think-----
that our Originally Just July will just have to be extended to September, October, November... and on.

So, sweet Florida, I thank you for your kind people, welcoming listeners, amazing landscapes, new experiences and immense inspiration. Thank you.

I am ready.

Love,
Me
JR
x

This is true. Sweet Life.

On the Side

First and foremost, I am what I still consider a new MOM.
Then, I am a wife

a sister
daughter
friend
aunt
cousin
sister-in-law
daughter-in-law
book club member
citizen
ummm
I'm sure more

Of course, my FULL time job come September is
teacher

BUT, on the side now and come September

I enjoy
so much more...
like being a
writer
a blogger
an Examiner
an amateur but somewhat talented photographer ;)

and these "On the Side" roles pop up every now and then on the world-wide web.

So this here blog is to link it all in one... to promote my "On the Side" and hope that some of you will open up some articles and hit the Subscribe button or comment or even purchase because even my "On the Side" has led me there with my little first book, "Annabelle's Love", and with my new full-of -love adventure of creating personalized greeting cards.

So to make it easier for you and even me, I will list all the places you can find a piece of my "On the Side" ...just one click and you are there!

I will even organize it for us! ;)

Places where you can purchase Annabelle's Love...

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/AnnabellesLove.html

http://www.amazon.com/Annabelles-Love-Jenny-Ramirez-Hart/dp/160976515X

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/annabelles-love-jenny-ramirez-hart/1027195962

http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Annabelles-Love/Jenny-Ramirez-Hart/9781609765156?id=5450648710356

and many more sites... all you have to do is GOOGLE Jenny Ramirez Hart


A little video of me in Germany...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9b-I2Itll0

Places where you can read my articles on Examiner...

http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-newark/jenny-ramirez-hart

http://www.examiner.com/life-photos-in-newark/jenny-ramirez-hart

And my latest endeavor that I think I will reap great joy from is now this... the personalized cards project you can purchase on fiverr.com

http://fiverr.com/jennyetc

It seems I want to tackle it all and make it all possible... I mean who knows! Maybe... just maybe! My "On the Side" can be my "On the Center"? ;)

Nothing wrong with trying that's for sure... !

So thank you for taking the time to skim through this blog... and maybe even clicking on one or two sites. Any questions or comments? Just email them to me at jennyrh2010@yahoo.com

Thank you much!
Signed
x
Happy
Me

Sample cards x :)

Righting the Wrong

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if I can ever right what I have done wrong.
 Last night was one of those nights.

I sat with eyes wide open in the dark and wondered about the friends I once had who I hurt and disappointed. I wonder how they are and what if? I get angry, I get sad, I get self-righteous but mostly I get so regretful.

You see, the sad thing about life is you can never ever go back and change the actions you have made, the words you have said, the decisions, the looks, the everything. None of it. Can't change a thing.

So how does one move on? How can I move on?

I try. And I try. But I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and wonder...

I am the one I cannot escape. I am the one who can never right the wrong it seems. I am the one who will judge myself the most and the hardest. Why?

Because deep down inside,  I knew what I should have done. I knew what I should not have done. I have always known the difference between right and wrong and yet... I did nothing about it. I continued on my merry way... ignoring my gut and running - just running far far away from me. Mirrors... forget about it... they were hard to look at.... very hard.

It has been a long time since I felt out of my skin but time has not yet allowed me to move on or forget.

So the question remains... is it possible to right the wrong? I suppose in some ways it is... I picture scenes of forgiveness and I know now my heart is in the right place, doing the right things, sending the best love to all those who I have disappointed. It is not always easy but it is worthwhile. Best part of it all is I am  able to look directly at the mirror and like who I see, respect who I see, admire who I see.  I am standing still and no longer running. I feel good in my skin even.

BUT...
I am sure there will be many more nights of me waking up in this fashion because clearly I can't seem to easily forgive myself... especially now---- I am surrounded by the most amazing family members and friends, by the most amazing blessings...this book, these opportunities and more. So sometimes I don't feel worthy of it all... which is why I will forever be trying to Right the Wrong.

Today signed-
regretful but trying,
me
Jenny R.
xxx